just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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