so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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