I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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