He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
