there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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