also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
