Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
