She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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