so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
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Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
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Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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