"it" just moved
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
