FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
