dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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