i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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