Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
