She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
