I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
