Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
