This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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