saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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