my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
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I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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