I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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