We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
