I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
