Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
