I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
