yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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