Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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