Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i think my cat just said my name.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
