I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
