You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
