Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
