there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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