HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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