you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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