i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
