I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
