I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
