he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
