i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We talked him into tasing himself.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Randomize
