Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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