you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
