.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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