Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
