So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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