I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
