i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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