yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize