you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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