who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize