Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
if i died would you start the facebook group?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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