If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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