Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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