booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
