I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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