FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
