Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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