it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
