I don't think brook has ever known best
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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