She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
