Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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