ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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