I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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