Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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