If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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